Homosexuals also sometimes come knocking on his door, a little more often lately

Homosexuals also sometimes come knocking on his door, a little more often lately

Jose Webers clientele is international and with no particular profile even though the majority of the clients are between 25 and 65 and their religious sensibility is toward the ‘traditional-liberal » end of the spectrum. With a few exceptions, the ultra-Orthodox do not use his services. « I am not kosher enough for them, » but mostly because shidduch is that milieu is subject to other rules: kids get married younger and it is the parents who meet the shadchan and arrange the marriage. » A good sport, Jose Weber acknowledges how successful those old fashioned schidduchim are: « Generally these couples work well because the notion of respect due to parents, the kavod, is very important and these young people believe their parents have made the best choice for them. As for the rest, the feelings, everything is built later. »

That is why I lead 80% of my clients to a long-term relationship

And what about him? Does he get requests from parents? « Every day, Abrahams and Sarahs come to my door looking for a Rivkah for their Yitzhak or vice-versa, » he says, amused. Often they do it secretly and swear their children would never forgive them if they knew. What he observes is that, behind an embarrassed rebellion, the kids later seem rather relieved that their parents made that first appointment with the schadchan.

But he is looking for a solution to create a similar structure which would also help homosexuals find partners: « Dont those Jews have the right to a happy life?

How does the schadchan know or feel that it is going to work? « With time and experience, my instinct is becoming sharper. It often takes several unsuccessful introductions for me to be able to discern the unspoken desires of the clients and also the little shortcomings they dont want to show me. Read More